Angel of my Life...

     What is the true meaning of success? Happiness? We all know there is no one answer to this question. We all view them in completely different lights. Whether you want fame, fortune, health, family, etc. The list has many inputs, but gratefully, I can answer those questions for myself.

     I have had so many different points in my life where I have felt successful, where I have been overwhelmed with happiness, and today is another landmark day.

     Let me start by telling you a story. A tale that is still being written as you read this, and it's about an angel. She was very little when I first met her, just about 6, and I was a lost young man still in my early 20's and just about to hit to bottom. I had made a move looking to continue my education in golf and the pieces I needed, just weren't falling my way. I had just started dating the most amazing women, and she had this angel. Of course for some reason life always has this great way of testing your resolve, putting you in situations where the descisions you make will shape the way you mature. My housing fell through, my money was slim, and my future was hazy at best, but this woman found it acceptable to bring  this lost boy into her home. I had only known this majestic woman for 2 months and now we were living together, with her two children may I add. This little angel, this young girl, changed everything for me. It was the first time since living with my parents I had felt unconditional love. It is unorthodox for an immature and nieve boy, like I was, to wake up and become a man. Immediately I stopped the bad habits and feeling victimized, because it wasn't just me anymore. I had 3 lives, other than my own, that relied on me for support, nurturing, and love. I dove in head first, oblivious to what needed to be done. None of that mattered, because I was needed. Life had a meaning. So tiny, this angel was, who would curl up on my chest to fall asleep. I was hypnotized. She cried at night and I ran to her. There is a comfort in being needed that out weighs every selfish thought you have. They slowly felt like they were mine, and nothing was going to take that from me. 

     

     Days, weeks, and months all turned to years. We were never a family with financial stability, but our family was strong. I married that amazing woman, had a son, and that angel did everything to help raise him and her older brother, whom fights with being mentally challanged. She was asked to grow up fast, she was burdened with the mantle of being the leader of the family, while my wife and I worked to keep afloat. Not a second thought, never questioned her role, and she helped hold our family together. As my career began to take shape, and we all know that in the Golf Course business, having the ability or desire to move where work is, is almost a must. I uprooted her from everything she knew growing up, a 1000 miles away, to a strange land that she was told was for a better life. Again, never a second thought and never a question, just helped anyway she could to keep the family together. When I went back to college to finally finish my schooling, I was separated from my family for 20 weeks, and though it was tough, she just kept going. She helped keep the family together. By this time she had grown and blossomed into this amazing young lady, who owned everthing about her future. An honor student, A.P. classes, full schedule of Honors courses, all in preparation for her jump to college after her senior year. A working girl, while balancing a insane school schedule, a boy-friend and her role in the family circle. Things that a young woman shouldn't have to worry about, and just enjoy being young and in-love.  But it just couldn't be that easy for her, her highschool career wasn't going to have a fairytale ending like it should have, because my career came calling once again, and a move had to be made. Haven't I done enough to disrupt this poor angels life. I tried to hold out, tried to let her enjoy the experience of being a normal teenage girl. Now I had to make the move alone to start. School is still in session and I need to be at my new job. Again I have to ask too much, and again never a second thought, never a question, and this time she had plans of her own.

     

     Without being pressured, she desided to make her own fairytale ending to her highschool career.  Telling her I would try my hardest to stay and let her graduate with her friends, with all that falling through, she stepped up and found a way. Duel enrollment. She would take classes through the local community college to earn enough credits to graduate a year early, and finish highschool the way she planned. I well-up with emotion just typing those words. What an absolutely amazing young woman. What a strong, confident, and independent woman. I can count on one hand the moments in life I have felt complete amazement. Marriage, child birth, college graduation, and now I can add the resolve and perserverance of my angel. The ability at that age to look into a situation with that magnitude, not be happy with the eventual outcome, and alter the outcome to your favor by NOT accepting failure. ASTOUNDING!!! I was so proud, as a parent in that moment, and to do it with only 2 months preparation. 

     My angel, Hannah Elise Benton, will graduate from highschool on HER terms. She rocked the SAT, she put her head down and applied to colleges, and today she received her first acceptance letter (One of many I forsee). She is an inspiration to me. She is my Buddha, my little bean, my princess, and my Angel. She is my frustration at times and my loss of sleep. She is my rock. She is one of three of the best decisions I've ever made in life. She is my daughter....

     A man who can raise a family in the golf course business, knows that the family has to be onboard, because most of the time the family comes, seemingly second, to the 200 acre canvas that is a golf course. They are always, and will always be first to me, that is why I do what I do. That is why I live 200 miles away from them and only see them 4 days a month. That's why I work 28 days without a day off, just to see them. They will make the move to follow me in late June. I CAN'T WAIT!!  The commitment it strenuous...... The rewards..... are forever!!! And they call it golf.

I love you all my friends... Work hard... play hard... love hard.

Et tu Brute?

     I find that when the mood strikes me to write, I'm always writing about topics that are related to relationships within life and find myself never truly inspired to discuss terms and events that revolve around the golf turf industry (i.e. fertilization techniques, proper diagnosis of irrigation uniformity in the various microclimates that exist on the golf landscape, etc.). There are tons of guys putting those out, and most have PHD's.  But you should never turn away good inspiration... which leads me to our topic for this post.

Morte di Giulio Cesare ("Death of Julius Caesar"). By Vincenzo Camuccini, 1798

   
     On this day, The Ides of March, in 44 B.C. Julius Caesar was assassinated, forever labeling this day as an act of cowardice and great deceit. Caesar's declaration by the Senate as dictator of the Roman Republic created an unrest with minority senators and they feared that he would attempt to overthrow the Senate and bring a tyrannical rule to the republic. The plot by Cassius and Brutus would prove detrimental to their cause, for the assassination of Caesar would go on the spark a civil war and the eventual Principate Era of the Roman Empire.

"Ok Jeff, so you brought us here for a history lesson?"

Not so much. But it does make the 5 years of Latin I took starting in 8th grade and highschool seem to be useful, but alas NO. More as a lesson to be learned from history. How many times have you been around a dominating figure that seem to push new, wild ideas on to you, or watched them push them on other people? Kind of annoying, right? Or inspiring? This is a lesson that I learned early on. The truth is there will always be somebody smarter than you somewhere in the world, or maybe just more adept to sharing and integrating new thoughts and practices. Human nature sees this "Ferryman" in two lights, one being illuminating and warm, while the other is blinding and burns. You either jump aboard or plot to sink it. You know the feelings... insecurity, fear, unrest, hate, being overshadowed or being outshined. You want to watch them fail so life goes back to normal. Your paradigm has be distorted and the uncomfortable feeling of change is all around you. Do you plot or do you wait? In my experience the plotters never win. "A" it shows something about your character that isn't very pleasing and "B" if you are that worried about it, than you need to step back and see what you AREN'T bringing to the table that has you focusing so much on others. I always say to new guys coming in that they can ask me anything, bring anything to the table they feel could help, and they will get the praise. I have been in too many situations where guys in my position have gone to great lengths to hold me down. Whether trying to slander my character or bring my mistakes to light, people who feel threatened can cause a lot of hurt to those who just mean well. So I embrace, nurture, and help the best I can to make those with good intentions grow. We all have our moments of weakness, but we build a bridge, plus if they can outwork me and prove they are better fit for the job, then I deserve to get outshined, because I obviously have not put the effort in to maintain my dominance in the workplace.
     "Et tu Brute?"
Don't be that enigmatic person. Be the person whose light attracts others. Put your knowledge and experience out there for all to feed off of and become stronger. There is only so much we can offer to the few people we have any influence over in life, so why not offer up the best that you have. Good habits, good advice, and a warm smile... Be the guide for those who wish to follow. There is nothing more rewarding in this world than to succeed through others. I have been lucky enough in my life to take what I have learned, been successful, and paid that forward to all those that wish it. My children are a shining example of that. My journey for knowledge is only at the beginning. I graduate from Rutgers Professional Golf Turf Management School in 5 days and what a journey it has been. I tear up a bit to type those words. 17 year in Golf Turf I have worked and I think of all the times I have fallen flat on my face in life, all the times I have made mistakes, all the trials..... I've dusted off each time, and I let nothing stop me, nor should you.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”― Dr. Seuss

I love you all my friends... Work hard, Play hard, Love hard.

Ahoj a sbohem.... Seasons come and go...

    Hey my friends... It's been a minute since my last post... Pretty sure nobody is curled up in the shower awaiting my next installment, but for the sake that one of you is, I'm sorry.
    Interesting  past few months as the season has been winding down. All the hot Czech girls are back in Prague, I grew my beard, hosted an awesome Tourney,

That's my Double

 both my Czech boys and Bulgarian beast went home, lost one friend to Turf School (GOOD LUCK BRO!), and gained a pretty clutch year round filler. I will say one thing, the dynamic of the work environment changes exponentially when you start to lose personality types, sometimes good, sometimes bad. How a team feeds off one another is an amazing thing, but the metamorphosis is delicate. For example, and most have heard or seen this before, when a leader or respected individual of the whole, or clique inside the whole, is let go for unexplained or seemingly unfair conditions, you often lose a larger chunk of the group than anticipated. Loyalty is a very strong emotion. Loyalty has a distinct "ripple effect", and an immediate response to threat can be detrimental to one's life. Every so often this can be rewarded, but all to often it leads down a slippery slope. Now before I get backlash, certain jobs carry the absolute need for reactionary loyalty (i.e. military forces, police, firefighters, etc).

http://www.army.mil/aps/05/training.html

I am a HEAVY believer in loyalty to my employers and subordinates, but my loyalty is more proactive than reactive and I would never react in a manner that will put my personal life in jeopardy of collateral damage. It becomes even more relevant when a wife and children are involved. I have had many guys in life say "if you go, I go" and I love these guys, with all my essence, but I would never dream of a person feeling I would think any less of them if they didn't follow. The greatest part about being me (sounds egotistical) is that I never will ask for sacrifice, but I will sacrifice myself, in duty, to carry everyone. I try to absorb all the stresses, because my constitution allows me to. I focus negative and generate positive. This doesn't make me Captain Sunshine & Rainbows, no no no, I'm still a a bit sarcastic at time, what it actually does is gives me the ability to troubleshoot issues without panic, call audibles and changes tactics mid execution. This is why I can see a persons issues and often offer logical and compassionate advice, even though I can't relate. I take personal investment in everything. When you take ownership, failure isn't an option.  We are all puzzles, but most people don't like seeing old pieces of the puzzle being replaced by new and different pieces... I was told by a very wise instructor at Rutgers University OCPE that the paradigms we create are not easily changed... My paradigm is change... I love new... and this is going to be hard to follow, but I like making old feel new again. I don't always want to be moving, but I will. I don't always want to retrain new employees, but I will. Making old, feel new, revitalizes. Whether it's new faces or a well seasoned, solution oriented colleagues, fresh beginnings inspire alternate avenues of thought, and provoke changes to the landscape of the work environment... at times in major ways. Evolution of any industry cannot occur if the processes, by which a segment of production functions, reaches a level of monotony. Fresh minds and fresh ideas will always lead to the eventual "reinvention" of your organization, whether it be on a minimal level or an exponential one, depending on the willingness to let these changes occur. Change isn't always necessary, wanted, or accepted. I can say that having a stable core of employees, with the proper passion and loyalty, is good as gold, but finding such a nucleus isn't easy to come by. The beginning of each season, the golf industry brings with the reuniting of old and the coming of new friends and colleagues, and at times, the gaping holes from those that have moved on. Here's to always looking to the next sunrise and the opportunity is carries with it... but... also having the awareness, to every once in a while, stop to enjoy the sunset right in-front of you.

Marconi Beach Cape Cod

Thank you my friends.. I love you all...

First Encounter Beach Cape Cod