Et tu Brute?

     I find that when the mood strikes me to write, I'm always writing about topics that are related to relationships within life and find myself never truly inspired to discuss terms and events that revolve around the golf turf industry (i.e. fertilization techniques, proper diagnosis of irrigation uniformity in the various microclimates that exist on the golf landscape, etc.). There are tons of guys putting those out, and most have PHD's.  But you should never turn away good inspiration... which leads me to our topic for this post.

Morte di Giulio Cesare ("Death of Julius Caesar"). By Vincenzo Camuccini, 1798

   
     On this day, The Ides of March, in 44 B.C. Julius Caesar was assassinated, forever labeling this day as an act of cowardice and great deceit. Caesar's declaration by the Senate as dictator of the Roman Republic created an unrest with minority senators and they feared that he would attempt to overthrow the Senate and bring a tyrannical rule to the republic. The plot by Cassius and Brutus would prove detrimental to their cause, for the assassination of Caesar would go on the spark a civil war and the eventual Principate Era of the Roman Empire.

"Ok Jeff, so you brought us here for a history lesson?"

Not so much. But it does make the 5 years of Latin I took starting in 8th grade and highschool seem to be useful, but alas NO. More as a lesson to be learned from history. How many times have you been around a dominating figure that seem to push new, wild ideas on to you, or watched them push them on other people? Kind of annoying, right? Or inspiring? This is a lesson that I learned early on. The truth is there will always be somebody smarter than you somewhere in the world, or maybe just more adept to sharing and integrating new thoughts and practices. Human nature sees this "Ferryman" in two lights, one being illuminating and warm, while the other is blinding and burns. You either jump aboard or plot to sink it. You know the feelings... insecurity, fear, unrest, hate, being overshadowed or being outshined. You want to watch them fail so life goes back to normal. Your paradigm has be distorted and the uncomfortable feeling of change is all around you. Do you plot or do you wait? In my experience the plotters never win. "A" it shows something about your character that isn't very pleasing and "B" if you are that worried about it, than you need to step back and see what you AREN'T bringing to the table that has you focusing so much on others. I always say to new guys coming in that they can ask me anything, bring anything to the table they feel could help, and they will get the praise. I have been in too many situations where guys in my position have gone to great lengths to hold me down. Whether trying to slander my character or bring my mistakes to light, people who feel threatened can cause a lot of hurt to those who just mean well. So I embrace, nurture, and help the best I can to make those with good intentions grow. We all have our moments of weakness, but we build a bridge, plus if they can outwork me and prove they are better fit for the job, then I deserve to get outshined, because I obviously have not put the effort in to maintain my dominance in the workplace.
     "Et tu Brute?"
Don't be that enigmatic person. Be the person whose light attracts others. Put your knowledge and experience out there for all to feed off of and become stronger. There is only so much we can offer to the few people we have any influence over in life, so why not offer up the best that you have. Good habits, good advice, and a warm smile... Be the guide for those who wish to follow. There is nothing more rewarding in this world than to succeed through others. I have been lucky enough in my life to take what I have learned, been successful, and paid that forward to all those that wish it. My children are a shining example of that. My journey for knowledge is only at the beginning. I graduate from Rutgers Professional Golf Turf Management School in 5 days and what a journey it has been. I tear up a bit to type those words. 17 year in Golf Turf I have worked and I think of all the times I have fallen flat on my face in life, all the times I have made mistakes, all the trials..... I've dusted off each time, and I let nothing stop me, nor should you.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”― Dr. Seuss

I love you all my friends... Work hard, Play hard, Love hard.

The First Brush Stroke is the Hardest...

DaVinci (Head of a Woman)

     I remember looking into my son's face just after he was born and thinking that everything I do as a father from this point on will determine who or what he would eventually become. It is a daunting task, because you are so careful and often hesitant to make that first stroke, for when the brush hits the canvas, there is no turning back. So that first brush stroke is the hardest because that will set in motion the final outcome of the work. Can't erase it and you can try to cover it up, but the effects could be too obvious. So you sit back and wonder how you would like it to look. The most frustrating inevitability is that after too long the painting will get a chance to begin to paint itself and all you can hope for at that point is you've laid the basis of the work going forward. I'm sure my parents look at me from time to time and say: "Didn't think he would've turned out like that." Not saying that's a bad thing, just that the ideals we often paint in our minds never really get to make it to the canvas, and quite often what ends up on the canvas, is a whole hell of a lot better than what we could ever have dreamed. Oh... and guess what? It never stops. You are being painted right now as you read this, and I am being painted right now as I type. The process is infinite. Even if you don't want to paint, that choice is what you are painting on somebody RIGHT NOW! OH MY HEAD!!! This is getting into some deep universal thought now boys and girls. Actions and choices that stretch across vast planes of conscious and unconscious processes that manipulate the futures of countless entities tangled in the threads of your astral web of influence.... (BREATHE)... It's true.

Dong Yuan (Song Dynasty)

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

-Sir Isaac Newton

It's real... The choices you make effect the lives and choices of all those around you. Even if it's so minuscule you never notice it. I try my hardest to share a little bit of my wisdom with those around me. My wife would say I'm being sort of pompous for imposing my thoughts and opinions on others, and maybe she is right, but an honest opposition can be the catalyst for a change in direction. You will never change the person that you are, but the slightest brush stroke could alter the outcome of the magnum opus vitae. 

Gustav Klimt (The Kiss)

The time is now... The paints aren't always the finest quality... The canvas may be tattered and torn... But... To be a great friend, lover, spouse, mentor, or parent is all we need. The riches of hard work, love, and happiness are all the that drives true passion to live each day for the success of that final masterpiece. Pick up the brush... Find the canvas... and paint!! Oh, and don't be afraid to let those you love in life add to the amazing work of art that is YOU. 

I love you all my friends... Work hard, play hard, love hard...

di Michelino (Fresco from "La Divina Commedia")

Salvador Dali (Galatea of the Spheres)

van Gogh (Starry Night)

Build a bridge...

It is amazing to me that in the short time that I will be inhabiting this earth the amount of joy one can strip from life. Small victories are the key... I mean, just hold a door, greet someone with a smile, or just seek somebody out whom you haven't seen or talked to in a while and you immediately feel energized. What is life if not to be fully engrossed in the art of interaction. I love to try to thank everyone I see on a daily basis in a small way just to see their reaction... It's funny, but my time in Jersey has provided some interesting responses. Yesterday I was at the deli getting some thin sliced pastrami (drool) and swiss so I could make myself a sexy hot sandwich, and every time the "deli-master", or what ever the proper term may be, initiated conversation, I responded in a uber-polite manner... This kat, I think, thought I was high. He just smirked and responded "OK?"... At the end of our transaction, I offered my hand for a handshake and a thank you... When did normal human interaction become such a lost art... I think he thought I was an asshole. Amazing. Then again most people I meet I feel think I'm an arrogant fool. My grandfather taught me this art very well, and I feel that the practice of humanity has been lost somewhere. I care so at times I can be blunt, does this make someone an asshole? I don't know... We can all be a bit judgmental at times I feel, myself included. I am more turned to the darkside by those that practice a disrespectful nature on a regular basis... I'm never going to be liked by every person I meet, but it doesn't mean I don't care... I was given wonderful tutelage by an excellent grandfather on how to "be"... I have a small example that just happened to me today...

    I reached out to a sales rep today, just for a few simple questions I wished to be answered... It turned out this rep was in the midst of a very unfortunate personal matter and when it was explained to me through text messaging, I became very emotionally distressed... Why? I have very little interaction with this person, I am not privy to anything in their personal life, and I am just an Assistant, I don't even deal with said person... So why? Because... because I have an attachment to this person on a professional and respect-bound basis... Literally, I welled up and my heart hurts for "my friend"... This is what I like to think "personal investment" is... To attach yourself to those directly or indirectly in your life... Invested interest in people and the humanization of every aspect of life... The highs with this practice are HIGH, an the lows are low, but as Chuck Palahniuk says in his book  Invisible Monsters:

"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."

You have to have a little faith in humanity, or you're just a fool... One day somebody will risk it and make me a leader of men on a golf course.... To those people I say: "I won't disappoint you." 

We thrive and prosper due to the fact we can interact on such a high plain of cerebral existence. It's what makes waking up each day the greatest feeling in the world. I have a whole other chance to see what the day has to offer.. We all have the penchant to be assholes, and I'm not perfect in any way....

"Perfection is unattainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence." -Vince Lombardi

I love you all, my friends... Work hard, Play hard, Love hard.....

I'm not a Mercedes...

I'm finally back at the Rutger's Professional Golf Management School, and I will tell you, I missed it... The relationships you make when entrenched in a program as demanding and fast passed as this, is extraordinary... But a subject discussed today, dredged some old thoughts from the back of my mind.... Am I ever going to have the opportunity to put a small mark on the Golf Course community? The subject is one I have batted around for, jeez, at least a decade or so... Will the fact that I have chosen a certain type of employment (ie. not well known golf courses), stop me from putting MY stamp on this community... I have had many sleepless nights (cough, tonight, cough) just sitting up and putting together hypothetical plans and actions that I would like to take, when I can finally achieve a Superintendent position...

How would I nurture my crew? How can I provide a high standard of accountability and trust to my employer, colleagues, and employees alike? What step would I take to advance the success, both in reputation and fiscal standing? How would my family benefit? What steps do I need to take to put myself on track to achieve my goals? Goals..... What a force... The drive to better ones life and the ability to go and live that life... What goals do I have? Financial comfort? To be respected and lauded for my achievements? To have the ability to give my wife and children the experiences and comforts they deserve? All these questions and ideals weigh on the mind of a person at time... I guess, I just want to make the most of my life while I'm on this beautiful planet... To love harder than I loved the day before... To dream bigger than I did last night... To take the next step without fear of failure, or disappointment, from those I love and cherish. To leave this world, just a little happier than it was... I love that ideal... To just be... and be the best YOU, you can be... Through my faults and idiosyncrasies... Through my passion and loyalty... ME... Assistant at Augusta? No.. Valhalla? Nah... Pebble? Sawgrass? Shinnecock? Nope... I'm not a Mercedes... I come with no pretty lights, or fancy gadgets... No rear view camera, or wipers on my headlights... No leather, wood accents, AC, power windows, GPS, Sirius XM, bluetooth, or $10,000 of high performance tires...... I'm a 1981 Truck... diesel (Cummins), 4X4, quad cab (because I like to carry people), mud covered, scratch covered, heavy towing capability, high mileage... I have been smashed into a time or two, and still run... I can handle any job, big or small, without second thought... I am reliable in rain or snow, freezing temps or high arid heat... I don't get parked in a garage for fear of fading, or covered up... I'm not pretty or fancy, I carry no expectation to be treated better than other vehicles, or given preferred parking, due to my branding... I preform the tasks needed quickly and efficiently... All I ask is for sufficient amounts of fuel, regular maintenance to ensure I run smooth, and maybe a Pine Tree mirror freshener.... I like the smell of pine... Though if they made one that mimicked the sent of a Golf Course in the morning hours, I'd take that too..
As always.... Thank you, and I love you all... Work hard, play hard, love hard... GOODNIGHT!!

What's a Legacy?

leg•a•cy (ˈlɛg ə si) 

n., pl. -cies, 
adj. n.

1. (in a will) a gift of property, esp. personal property, as money; bequest.

2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor.

3. Obs. the office, function, or commission of a legate.

4. a student at or applicant to a college that was attended by his or her parent.

adj.

5. of or pertaining to old or outdated computer hardware, software, or data that, while still functional, does not work well with up-to-date systems.

     This holiday season has brought with it memories of holidays past... I remember the elation of being a child during the season of hope and purity. Embracing the love and tradition of the generations gathering to celebrate their legacy. To witness the unbridled joy given to by spouses, parents, children, grandchildren, etc etc... To see the gap in age disappear as The Carpenters and Johnny Mathis sing of holiday cheer, or as Bing Crosby opens his Connecticut Inn to celebrate the legacy of our fore fathers. Games and conversation, Manhattans and Martinis, beers and Crispix Mix, kisses under the mistletoe and hugs just to be close... What is the holidays if not to continue the passing down of joy, hope, belief, love, and togetherness of family and friends... the legacy continues... 


     I understand why now. Why my parents sacrifice so much for my brother and I, because at the end of the day, like Chuck Palahniuk writes: "You're not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank, you're not the car you drive, you're not the contents of your wallet, you're not your f**kin' khakis..." I'm pretty sure Chuck was referring to a different concept, but for the sake of this, I using it to illustrate the effect a child has on your life. The ideal that we pass to our children the best things we remember from our parents and grandparents. To pass the virtues and sacrifices to them so that they may remember the best things about you and continue the cycle. The stories and reminiscing about the larger than life characters you portray of your parents and grandparents. They are beings that hung the moon and forged mountains with their bare hands. Their roar deafened and struck fear into Titans. They hugged tightly and their love melted glaciers.  They chiseled you into the man/woman you are today. I know not all people have the pleasure of having parents that carve patience, integrity and accountability, and mold morality and tolerance into a child, and then release them to a world of prejudice, intolerance, corruption, and laziness. Tools that one need to deflect and succeed. Tools that I try to pass down to my children.

     So I define Legacy as the steps I take in life to show my parents and grandparents that they succeeded. I want my legacy to my children and all the people I try to touch on a daily basis to be that of a genuine nature. To try to show that hard work, honesty, accountability, patience, passion, and sacrifice will always be the longer way to succeed in life, but that it also builds a stronger base so that when times get tough, you NEVER crumble under the weight. Look back to remember, but push forward to be remembered. 
    I love my mother and father... They have totally different styles when it comes to "dealing" with me... Thank you... I cherish the unconditional love, and I appreciate the constant "kicks in the ass", because I may not be wealthy monetarily, but you can bet your ass, I have the wealth of character, the strength of mind and the liver of a German- Swede... I love my pride... I stew in  my arrogance... I bathe in my depravity... But I live in my humility... The people I have had the pleasure of sharing times with in my life are few and fortuitous... From my excellent mother who taught me the pleasures of life, to my father who taught me how to achieve those pleasure, with blood and sweat, to my strength Douglas Hill, (sorry to name drop), but aside from the power that is Roland Swanson, Doug  Hill is part of the blood that pumps through my veins... If my father is the foundation of me, then Doug is the pillar.. To my friend Aaron Carlisle Benson... Where ever you are now, you have  pushed your legacy of good will and acceptance to me, to my friend Bert Fletcher, who showed me that a good time is what you make of the time you have... To the "Loki" of my life Michael Corbin... The man who taught me to enjoy the fruits of life that only a man can enjoy, to live each moment as you wished it, not as others saw fit... To Dutch Nonnenberg... Who taught me a loving touch and a caring nature spread farther than the mind could ever imagine... To my Brother Michael Swanson, who showed me growing up is one ass kick away from hitting rock bottom... To my wife who found me at rock bottom, and showed me success is a long, vertical, painful climb, that only gets sweeter the more you overcome you own personal limitations to find you can achieve anything... She let me care for a step-son who showed me that "handicap" is only if you let it be a handicap... Let me watch a step-daughter grow into one of the finest women I've ever known in my life... and gave me a son that, let me see that true love, is only one blink away, from being the only thing you've ever known... 



My legacy is the Grandfather Swanson, that tamed beasts with the melody of a whistle and loved his family with a smile and embrace that could destroy planets... The Grandmother Swanson, that cradled all 20+ grandchildren and 10+ great-grandchildren effortlessly... a women who sacrificed moments of her life watching the man she created that legacy with, wither away, but never losing hope or showing the slightest bit of weakness to her family, as Alzheimer's took her husband... My legacy is the Grandfather Short, who bent the wills of men with his voice and handshake... Who dedicated himself to his family and charity... Who taught me that the only way you could fail in life, is giving up... A laugh that took broke the strength of men and brought them to their knees, a handshake that was bound with integrity, honesty, devotion, and a ferocity to drive forward... a hug that forged steel and molded men... 
My Elaine... My fortune... gave me two uncles that pushed me to look beyond the walls of normal childhood... Uncles that never pushed me aside or told me to leave... Jeff... Kevin... Men... that saw a child of wonder and nurtured the SH*T out of it...
A Grandmother Short, that arose from the ashes as a Phoenix...  Devout... Showed me that belief can carry the strongest of us over the greatest obstacles... Showed me that forgiveness is more than just a word, but the foundation of love... 

A mother...... How does this begin? Where does this end? It doesn't... The words you try to find for the being that carried you in her body for 9 months, then carried you in her heart for a lifetime, is impossible... The woman who punished then cried, whom hugged then laughed, whom never let you go, no matter how far you moved from her... To say you know how to thank a person like Diane Swanson, would be a lie... You can only pray that a woman like that can understand...

The saying: "A man will always marry a woman like his mother."

Yeah... That sh*t is true... My wife is awesome!!! Never go against the women you love...

This is why I call it Golf... I love all you mutants that read my action!!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! Thank You!

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ahoj a sbohem.... Seasons come and go...

    Hey my friends... It's been a minute since my last post... Pretty sure nobody is curled up in the shower awaiting my next installment, but for the sake that one of you is, I'm sorry.
    Interesting  past few months as the season has been winding down. All the hot Czech girls are back in Prague, I grew my beard, hosted an awesome Tourney,

That's my Double

 both my Czech boys and Bulgarian beast went home, lost one friend to Turf School (GOOD LUCK BRO!), and gained a pretty clutch year round filler. I will say one thing, the dynamic of the work environment changes exponentially when you start to lose personality types, sometimes good, sometimes bad. How a team feeds off one another is an amazing thing, but the metamorphosis is delicate. For example, and most have heard or seen this before, when a leader or respected individual of the whole, or clique inside the whole, is let go for unexplained or seemingly unfair conditions, you often lose a larger chunk of the group than anticipated. Loyalty is a very strong emotion. Loyalty has a distinct "ripple effect", and an immediate response to threat can be detrimental to one's life. Every so often this can be rewarded, but all to often it leads down a slippery slope. Now before I get backlash, certain jobs carry the absolute need for reactionary loyalty (i.e. military forces, police, firefighters, etc).

http://www.army.mil/aps/05/training.html

I am a HEAVY believer in loyalty to my employers and subordinates, but my loyalty is more proactive than reactive and I would never react in a manner that will put my personal life in jeopardy of collateral damage. It becomes even more relevant when a wife and children are involved. I have had many guys in life say "if you go, I go" and I love these guys, with all my essence, but I would never dream of a person feeling I would think any less of them if they didn't follow. The greatest part about being me (sounds egotistical) is that I never will ask for sacrifice, but I will sacrifice myself, in duty, to carry everyone. I try to absorb all the stresses, because my constitution allows me to. I focus negative and generate positive. This doesn't make me Captain Sunshine & Rainbows, no no no, I'm still a a bit sarcastic at time, what it actually does is gives me the ability to troubleshoot issues without panic, call audibles and changes tactics mid execution. This is why I can see a persons issues and often offer logical and compassionate advice, even though I can't relate. I take personal investment in everything. When you take ownership, failure isn't an option.  We are all puzzles, but most people don't like seeing old pieces of the puzzle being replaced by new and different pieces... I was told by a very wise instructor at Rutgers University OCPE that the paradigms we create are not easily changed... My paradigm is change... I love new... and this is going to be hard to follow, but I like making old feel new again. I don't always want to be moving, but I will. I don't always want to retrain new employees, but I will. Making old, feel new, revitalizes. Whether it's new faces or a well seasoned, solution oriented colleagues, fresh beginnings inspire alternate avenues of thought, and provoke changes to the landscape of the work environment... at times in major ways. Evolution of any industry cannot occur if the processes, by which a segment of production functions, reaches a level of monotony. Fresh minds and fresh ideas will always lead to the eventual "reinvention" of your organization, whether it be on a minimal level or an exponential one, depending on the willingness to let these changes occur. Change isn't always necessary, wanted, or accepted. I can say that having a stable core of employees, with the proper passion and loyalty, is good as gold, but finding such a nucleus isn't easy to come by. The beginning of each season, the golf industry brings with the reuniting of old and the coming of new friends and colleagues, and at times, the gaping holes from those that have moved on. Here's to always looking to the next sunrise and the opportunity is carries with it... but... also having the awareness, to every once in a while, stop to enjoy the sunset right in-front of you.

Marconi Beach Cape Cod

Thank you my friends.. I love you all...

First Encounter Beach Cape Cod